The Healing Power of Open Sky and a Large Expanse of Water

6/28/25

This week was a tough one for me. My son Alex’s birthday came and went. All week I was flooded with memories of happy childhood parties, that included super soaker fights, goofy antics and lots of cake. I tried not to dwell too long on Alex’s last earthly birthday, which sadly was the last day I saw him alive and was a rather traumatic experience for all of us. Alex was in active addiction on his 26^th birthday and was barely aware of our trip to the beach or our efforts to celebrate him. As my dear friend Andie pointed out, it was a miracle that he pulled himself together as we reached his apartment to apologize and say good-bye. He gave us all hugs along with a promise to get better. I believe Alex was sincere, and that he did find healing in the afterlife. It just was not the way that any of us envisioned him getting better.

Distraction is a tool I have written about before and I believe that it can be as valuable as allowing oneself to feel and process difficult emotions. For me, it is essential to give my nervous system a break from time to time, to allow a recharge, to focus on joy when there is a chance. My friend Amanda suggested a day trip to give me something fun to anticipate as the birthday came and went. We decided to take the ferry to Tangier Island, Virginia, in the middle of the Chesapeake Bay. It had been years since either of us had traveled there and we both had fond memories of the quaint town and the gorgeous waterway and wetlands that surround it.

Much of our day was spent in transit. We drove for about 2 hours to Reedville through winding country roads and small towns. As we traveled, we talked about our lives and the grief we are both processing. It felt like a shedding of the mundane and the ordinary routines of our lives, as we prepared to take in the beauty of the bay. Once in Reedville we collected our tickets and took a few minutes to read historic markers before meeting the crew and climbing up the gang plank. A group of ravens called to each other from pine trees nearby. Amanda and I started to google the prices of nearby homes that faced the marina. Some very swanky spots!

It made my heart sing to see my friend at peace as she stood looking off the bow of the boat. She has been through a lot in the past few years, and I was delighted to see the joy that she exuded on the trip. The tang of salt and marsh filled our nostrils as we approached the small crab huts and docks that lined the edge of Tangier. Much was as I recalled. Bright colored crab cages stacked at the edge of the water. Small houses lining narrow roads. A tiny airport is located at one end of the island. Everyone of the 500 or so residents of Tangier must travel by boat or plane to get supplies from the mainland. It was shocking to see how much land and how many houses have been lost in the past decade since I last was there. If anyone does not believe in global warming, I suggest a trip to this historic but shrinking island.

While on the island we explored the tiny fishing village and watched gulls, herons, and cormorants go about their lives in the marshes and fields nearby. Both of us are educators, so we marveled at the tiny school with its large ADA compliant ramp, almost as big as the building. Lunch was a delicious crab cake sandwich with absolutely no filler, plucked from the waters off Tangier, earlier that morning. Yum! As we walked on the narrow streets, we dodged golf carts and an occasional four-wheeler. We enjoyed learning about the history of the island at the local museum and perusing the shops. Several of the people interviewed in the video shown in the town museum rode by or were in the shops we visited. It is that small of a town! Just before boarding the ferry for our return trip, we bought ice cream and cold water to soothe us as we headed back to the mainland.

The return trip felt faster, but still luxurious. We continued to watch the sky and water from the bow as late afternoon clouds began to develop. Schools of fish appeared to make the water boil and we glimpsed the fins of skates and dolphins following them. Just before we reached Reedville, a large dark storm with dramatic thunder and lightning led us to shelter below deck with the rest of the tourists on board.

All in all, the trip was a wonderful opportunity to spend 6 1/2 hours on the Chesapeake Bay, four of which were on long ferry rides with wind whipping through our hair. Although the region was experiencing near 100-degree weather, we were cooler and refreshed by the open sky and sparkling water on the trip to and from Tangier. More importantly, we both got a break from routine and a chance to reconnect and deepen our friendship. Yet again, I was reminded of two important concepts: the journey is as important as reaching the destination and there is nothing more healing than time spent near a large expanse of water under an open sky.