Winter Solstice

12-21-25

At 10:03 am today, the sun shone directly on the Tropic of Capricorn marking the Winter Solstice and for us in the northern Hemisphere, the beginning of Winter.  Each day after today, the days will be slightly longer. I struggle with the darkness at this time of year, so for me, the extra minutes of light make a huge difference. In truth all of December and January are too dark for my liking. The early nightfall makes it seems like I have been at work longer than typical and it makes me want to stay inside when I get home instead of taking my daily walk or going to the gym to get some cardio or weight training in. I also struggle with the holidays, as so many people do. This time of year is exceptionally hard for people in grief. As I go through the motions of sending Christmas cards, decorating and shopping for gifts, I can’t help but miss Alex more than usual. This year a dear friend challenged me to look for one or two things to hold onto that I do enjoy about this time of year. For me it boils down to two things: I enjoy the lights and the bonus family that has shown up in my life.

Some of my neighbors started before Thanksgiving to put up lights in their yards. The blow up Santas and figures bring cheer to me as I turn onto my otherwise dark street after work.  We put candles in our windows and put up our Christmas tree while Andrew was home from UVA. They stay on a timer, so I am greeted by extra light inside the house, as well, each day. Last week as I drove home from my volunteer position at the Healing Place, I was struck by the beauty of the city skyline and its reflection in the James as I drove across the 9^th street bridge at 6:30 pm. Each year Richmond puts white lights around Kanawa Plaza and the James Center. A few businesses have added blue, red or green lights to the upper floors of their skyscrapers. The view was dazzling, yet I had it to myself. It seemed everyone had headed home for the day and the roads were empty. As I continued to the downtown expressway, a few cars went by. Even as I exited on Thompson and headed along Grove Avenue, there were very few people about. It was as if it was my own personal light show. I enjoyed more dramatic light displays near Libbie and Grove and along Three Chopt where professionals had come with bucket trucks to artfully illuminate the mansions. It was so bright in front of some homes it hardly looked like nighttime! As I drove up to my own house, I could see that Nick had been busy in our yard. In addition to the peace sign he made with a rainbow of string lights on our lawn over the weekend, there now was a bright red heart. Peace and love, symbolically marking our home.

Jack greeted me a little bit after I arrived home. He is one of Andrew’s college buddies who came to visit for a few days to catch up with friends who live here, and me. McKenna also will be around for Christmas and will travel with to the beach for a few days after Christmas. Alex brought her to us in 2020 when they dated. Now she is a permanent extra child, and it fills me with joy to shop for her and plan meals I know she enjoys. Perhaps the nicest and most unexpected bonus family has come to me because of my niece Maddie. They decided to reconnect with me after my ex-husband and son died in 2023. Maddie has two sweet little girls, and they came for a cookie decorating afternoon earlier this month. It makes me smile just to think of their energy and creativity. They also help me reminisce a bit about the days when my boys were little and Christmas was a magical and exciting time.

Perhaps there are more than two things I like about this time of year? There is hope for longer days with incrementally more light starting tomorrow. There are tacky and tasteful light displays all around to help push away the darkness at least until the New Year. And I get to enjoy time with my younger son who is home for a bit, as well as other friends and family who will come around over the next few days. I will even get to see the ocean and soak up some of the beauty of a sunset or two and enjoy some fresh seafood. The days may be short and I still miss Alex, but there is much to be grateful for when I remember to look around.